I’m pleased to note that, a year after its publication, my book The Paradox of Porn: Notes on Gay Male Sexual Culture, continues to have an impact on the population for whom it was intended.
In mid-June, I gave a presentation on the subject matter of the book at the annual conference of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) in Philadelphia, whose theme this year — Let the Body Rejoice!” — was right up my alley.
At the end of July, I gave a reading from the book at Easton Mountain Retreat in upstate New York as part of the annual Gay Spirit Camp, and I also conducted a workshop called “Writing from the Erotic Body.”
I recently received this five-star review on Amazon.com:
“If you’re a gay man who wants a more exciting, pleasurable, meaningful, and fulfilling sex life;
if you struggle with sexual shame;
if you’ve found porn both liberatory & oppressive;
if you believe in sexual freedom & liberation but feel ambivalent, dissatisfied, or downright depressed about how those ideals play out in most gay male sexual culture;
if you can’t help comparing yourself to the men depicted in gay porn and feeling you don’t measure up in stamina, technique, repertoire, attitude, muscle size, dick size, body type, facial features, ejaculatory ability, or age;
if the simultaneously sex-obsessed and erotophobic society in which we live has negatively impacted your sexuality;
or if you simply enjoy reading smart, entertaining, skillful writing on sex and culture,
then this book is for you!”
In the category of You Learn Something New Every Day, I recently encountered a definition of pornography I had never heard before. Philosopher Michael Rea theorizes that an image is sexual pornography when we use it for immediate gratification, while avoiding the complexities of actual sexual relationships like physical intimacy, emotional connection and romantic interaction. Sounds reasonable to me — what do you think?