DID YOU SEE: Joe Kort in Huffington Post on tops, bottoms, and “sides”

Detroit-based author and gay sex therapist Joe Kort wrote an interesting essay recently for The Huffington Post that should give comfort to gay guys who resist the pressure to fit themselves into only one of two categories sexually, top or bottom.

“What if a guy isn’t a top, a bottom or even versatile? What about gay men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever? I think they deserve a name of their own. I call them “sides.” Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time, before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so. Some may even enjoy receiving or giving anal stimulation with a finger, but nothing beyond that.”

You can read the whole article online here. Let me know what you think.

Quote of the day: DESIRE


God gave us desire. Letting go of desire is not the way to peace or godliness. Rather desire is God’s way of making sure we join the parade rather than watching from the curb.

It’s okay to want a bigger TV but no one ever made a movie about a man who finally bought a Volvo. So embrace your desire but ask yourself whether your desire saves lives or whether it all goes with you to the grave.

The problem with your desires may be lack of meaning. Love is a common, but not the only, factor that adds meaning to otherwise boring desires.

— Don Miller

don miller

Did you see: Gary Wilson’s TEDTalk on how internet porn affects the brain

Scientist Gary Wilson (who teaches anatomy and physiology) reports findings from studies on the correlation between heavy-duty viewing of internet porn and erectile dysfunction. It speaks only to heterosexual men and how they “check out babes,” etc. But the discussion is compelling. Check it out and let me know what you think. (Wilson has an extensive and informative website named after his six-part YouTube series, “Your Brain on Porn.”)